Sunday, February 12, 2012
Intrduction
I've always known, or at least felt like I knew, that I was odd. As I've gotten older I've realized most people feel the same and that I usually don't care much for those who don't. I've also come to realize that I can't change and become "normal", whatever that is, but I have encountered others who have accepted this about themselves and progressed from there. They are calm, confident and positive. They are beautiful and attractive to me as people (I'm not suggesting anything that has to do with gender or sexuality). I greatly appreciate their friendship and I want make the same progress. This blog is the diary of your typical, run-of-the-mill lunatic and my journey to learn how to relax and change my focus from worrying about my insanity to genuinely caring about others.
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It looks like you are the right path on your journey Ken. How exciting for you... Looking forward to some of you "rants"... lol
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ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat did you bump into that was "abominably wrong"? We've all crossed paths like that from time to time, and I'm wondering if you and I may have crossed the same one or if there is one waiting for me out there somewhere.
ReplyDeleteI have shared with a few what troubles me, but it is a catch 22. As I stated, I do believe very strongly. I have had experiences that have confirmed them. So I do not wish to poison others towards those beliefs. When I have shared, others can agree and then I feel as though I have spread my disease. When they disagree, I feel defensive and press the case for why it troubles me. In so doing, I play devil's advocate and that is not my intention.
DeleteI was a missionary for my church for two years. Early on, I was involved in a discussion with some one who was not as familiar of the bible as I was. I could sense her frustration as it seemed if it were a debate, I clearly won. I thought about that. A week or so later, she invited us over and had some one from her church who was much more familiar with the bible than I was. The outcome of this debate was clearly a victory for the other team.., and I thought about this too. Was my church right because happened to know the scriptures better than she did during the first exchange? Conversely, was it wrong because I didn't know as much as her guest the second time? Is truth determined by who is the best debater or knows the most?
Those two events significantly influenced my thoughts on sharing religious beliefs from that time on. First, I sought and found answers for the questions of my beliefs that I could not answer. Second, from that time forward, I have done my best to avoid proving some one else's faith wrong. Suppose you found the logical "silver bullet" that could prove that all other faiths were wrong. Would you ever use it? I concluded, no! Proving some one wrong does not prove yourself right. It only produces defensiveness and resentment. I concluded that using it would not produce any good, it would just destroy some one's faith and leave them faithless. As I went forth as a missionary, I was careful to not tear a person's home down and leave them homeless. Instead, I tried to show them the palace I believed in. If they came to believe it also, they could tear their own old home down and leave it behind.
I have reputation for explaining the universe to answer simple questions. All anyone of my kids has to say is, "Dad explains the universe." and all the others will laugh in agreement. So, I've written all this to explain why I do not wish to share the source of my struggles. I haven't given up hope of finding an answer. In the meantime, I have no desire to plant the seed's of another's destruction or to argue the case of my disagreement.